“I just can’t get into Sundays,” a friend recently told me, leaning forward in his chair and scrunching his shoulders into his chest. He was all but writhing in pain at the thought of a Sunday. “I think about work too much. It sucks. It should be a great day.”
You’ve heard this sentiment before: Sunday a shit day because it leads into the maelstrom of weekday work. This is much the same way many school children and teachers think of August; a bittersweet month where fun dwindles away and school approaches. The calendar begins to look like an episode of “24,” ticking away with obnoxious precision and noise.
This sentiment is tough to shake. When I was a child, I’d spend the first part of my Sunday playing as if it was Saturday Part Two. By 5 p.m., the dread set in. You mean I have to wake up at 6 a.m. (which, for me, was closer to 6:50 a.m.), get to school by 7:15 a.m., and be hearing concepts that likely have nothing to do with the NBA, nudity, or music by 7:20 a.m.?
I’m here to tell my younger self and you: Sunday is the second best day of the week.
It’s just a touch behind Saturday and a touch ahead of Friday. Sunday is far ahead of Thursday, and insurmountably in front of Wednesday, Monday, and Tuesday (AKA the week’s asshole).
Now, now. Settle down. Yes. Yes, you in the back: Shut your fucking mouth and relax.
I know some of you instantly felt your stomach clinch up at the idea that Sunday is better than Friday. After all, Friday has the release from work! Beers with friends! A morning of doing whatever-the-fuck you want the next day! Seeing the clock creep past 11 p.m. with no guilty sense of “Oh shit, that meeting tomorrow morning is going to suck”!
But does any of that make up for the fact that you’re at work until 5 p.m.? Let’s be conservative and say you have an easy commute – let’s say 30 minutes – and a nice boss who will let you off at 4:30 p.m. This means you’ll be home by 5 p.m. and, if you’re 30 like I am, have about three hours before you realize what time you woke up that morning.
Sounds fine. Sounds like Thursday with a maraschino cherry garnish. Whoopee.
Not to mention (but to definitely mention) that you’re more than likely a complete space case on Fridays. For me, Fridays are the slowest moving, most slack-assed, least productive day of the week. What about you? Are you busy sitting there thinking about which beer you want to drink, the Netflix show you want to binge on, or how much sleep you’re about to get?
While you’re over here spacing out and wishing it was 6:30 p.m., I’m kicking back on the couch at 10:30 a.m. on Sunday leisurely reading. Ahhhh, man. It feels great. You should join me.
Hey, that brings me to my next point: Sunday is the single best day for relaxation. Saturdays are supremely fun – thus their top rank – but do they offer you the same cradle of nothingness Sunday does? I don’t think so. Not to sound like Nietzsche here, but the undefined bosom of Sunday beckons with its formless call to disarm and relax.
There’s no expectation for fun on Sunday, so you’re allowed to do whatever you want. I mean, not whatever you want – don’t kill anyone, son – but do you wanna get a few friends together, eat some kind of egg and avocado dish, and drink until you pass out? Sunday has it. Wanna read while periodically cooking? Sunday has it. Wanna watch grown men smash their brains into a state of eventual dementia for the love of sport with Ford commercials voiced by Dennis Leary mixed in? Sunday has it. Wanna just sit in a catatonic state and stare straight ahead into space for hours? Uhm, I hope you’re alright…but Sunday has it!
If you’re overly concerned about work, I have a simple solution for you: Take some time on your stupid, shitty, spaced-out Friday to write down every work related task you need to have completed. By writing down emails, meetings, projects, birthday wishes, cloud-clear-outs, fridge clean-outs, plots for petty revenge, phone calls, and other to-dos, you will ease your brain’s stress levels. The tasks will be filed away for later, on paper.
Think of this as closing all of the apps on your phone to preserve battery life. Give your brain a break.
(note: I read this tip in a book about, ahem, “Getting Things Done.” Its cover features a smiling dude with gray hair, glasses, and no tie. The no-tie mixed with glasses look was the dead giveaway: This motherfucker was dead on and the method relaxed me like some task-organizational version of an ASMR video)
For those who still need convincing… have you tried drinking beer on Sundays? It feels pretty great. Hold on, I’ll demonstrate: AHHhhhhh. Yeah. It works well.
Other great Sunday activities: Reading, sleeping, watching movies, playing sports, exercising, walking, listening to music, masturbating, sexing, sexting, doing a game-theory tree for your next five years of life, petting an animal, eating a bagel, eating Thai food, eating a pizza, having an extended lunch with friends, and truly not doing SHIT.
I’d advise choosing any of those, but make sure you mix in at least some of the last one in.
Anyone who disagrees, please, I beg you: Make your case and prove me wrong. Can you really say Friday’s hazy nights beat an entire day of lazy rest, drunk escapes, or active fun? Would you dare make a case for Thursday, which can barely even be considered “The New Friday” past a certain age? Are you gonna try and bullshit me with any other day?
C’mon. Sunday is the second best day of the week.